Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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