How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I want a musical about memes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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