How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
