hotel room ftw
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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