What did we do last night that was yellow?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
