I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
