butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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