Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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