If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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