did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
