First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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