Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
