I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
