so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Randomize
