while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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