i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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