I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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