She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
