So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
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I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize