she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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