you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
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