Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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