The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
