someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
