so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Even my vagina gasped.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
