It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
