why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
