wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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