Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize