and you said cock pushups were impossible
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
