I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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