these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
