coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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