they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
