How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I want to have your abortion
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
