Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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