So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
