nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize