I understand Curling. That high.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
