We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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