Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
