oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
