Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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