so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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