thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
