fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
