Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
