youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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