I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
it glows. i had to have it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
