Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
