Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
