we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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