How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
