I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he puts the penis in happiness.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
