Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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