I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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