Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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