So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Mom said you looked used
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
