My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize