once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
