No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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