You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
