Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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