whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
