You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
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the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
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I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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